{"id":557,"date":"2010-06-21T10:02:40","date_gmt":"2010-06-21T15:02:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/godandculture.wordpress.com\/?p=557"},"modified":"2010-10-08T18:56:40","modified_gmt":"2010-10-08T23:56:40","slug":"guest-blogger-joel-edwards-on-grandfathers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.godandculture.com\/blog\/guest-blogger-joel-edwards-on-grandfathers","title":{"rendered":"Grandfathers"},"content":{"rendered":"

“I have all these memories, I don\u2019t know what for
\nI have them and I can\u2019t help it<\/em>\u201d
\n~ Sun Kil Moon, \u201cLike the River\u201d<\/p>\n

“George<\/span><\/a>: That’s not your grandfather.
\nPaul<\/span><\/a>: It is, you know.
\nGeorge<\/span><\/a><\/span>: But I’ve seen your grandfather. He lives in your house.
\nPaul<\/span><\/a><\/span>: Oh, that’s my other grandfather, but he’s my grandfather, as well.
\nJohn<\/span><\/a><\/span>: How do you reckon that one out?
\nPaul<\/span><\/a><\/span>: Well, everyone’s entitled to two, aren’t they?\u201d<\/p>\n

~ The Beatles, \u201cA Hard Day\u2019s Night\u201d<\/p>\n

My friends will sometimes talk about their grandfathers as if they are gods. They\u2019ll share stories of love and fun and good times. And I am always jealous.<\/p>\n

I can barely remember either of my grandfathers. They both died when I was young and they both were sick for most of my life. I had Grandpa Ball (my mother\u2019s father), simply called Grandpa, and Grandpa Edwards (my father\u2019s father), always known as Gramps in our household. Whenever I hear stories told of these two men, I always feel a pride in the fact that I am related to them by blood. But I can barely remember them. And this breaks my heart.<\/p>\n

As I\u2019ve said, both men were sick for most of my life. I don\u2019t think I ever saw Grandpa walk. The only time I ever saw Gramps walk was when he would walk from his chair to the kitchen every night to pour himself a bowl of cereal.<\/p>\n

I remember my Gramps chair. I remember thinking it was a sin for anyone other than him to be sitting in it. I sat in it after he died, and immediately got up. I vaguely remember sitting on his lap when I was young, the smell of medicine and the touch of calloused hands.<\/p>\n

I\u00a0remember when I first heard Gramps life story. It was the life sung by the likes of Woody Guthrie and Hank Williams. It was the life of a working class hero. I remember hearing stories of a strong faith in God. I remember a quiet old man with a raspy voice. I remember a man who loved his family. The nativity story on Christmas morning. Grocery shopping on a hot summer\u2019s day.<\/p>\n

I remember the day Gramps died. And that\u2019s the most vivid memory of all. Leaving school early. Arriving too late. Leaning on my father\u2019s chest. Lifeless body on the bed. The bed I used to sleep in. Children crying in the backyard. Emotionless. Confused.<\/p>\n

I cried at his funeral. All I have left are stories and vague memories.<\/p>\n

Memories of Grandpa are even fewer. I don\u2019t remember a time when he wasn\u2019t sick. I remember a stupid knock knock joke I would tell him, and he would laugh every time. \u201cKnock knock. Who\u2019s there? Tommy. Tommy who? Tommy ache.\u201d And he would laugh and laugh. I know that he loved me. I know I loved him. I remember my grandparents\u2019 home up north in Roscommon. It was like a second home to me. He was sick every time we went.<\/p>\n

I cried at his funeral. All I have left are stupid jokes and sickness.<\/p>\n

I never said goodbye to either of them. I can barely even remember their voices.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s 4:30 in the morning right now and I am crying. I couldn\u2019t sleep because the memory of these two men wouldn\u2019t leave my mind. I barely knew them, yet I love them more than anybody that ever lived.<\/p>\n

Sometimes I wonder why God would choose to taunt me with friends who tell me stories of their loving grandfathers. Sometimes I think God is the cruelest person in existence.<\/p>\n

But then memories of these men come and haunt me. And I know that, though they are gone, they have made me a better person just by being there. And I know God wants me to celebrate what I had\u2026 what I have.<\/p>\n

Maybe someday I\u2019ll have children. I will tell them the memories I have of my grandfathers. I will tell my children they come from the two greatest men who ever lived.<\/p>\n

Maybe someday I\u2019ll have grandchildren and I will be a grandfather myself. <\/span>And maybe my grandchildren will look up to me as a great man. Maybe someday they will want to be like me. That would be the greatest honor. And that is all I want.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“I have all these memories, I don\u2019t know what for I have them and I can\u2019t help it\u201d ~ Sun Kil Moon, \u201cLike the River\u201d “George: That’s not your grandfather. Paul: It is, you know. George: But I’ve seen your … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":1804,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[69,365,384,402],"class_list":["post-557","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-death","tag-dying","tag-grandfathers","tag-joel-edwards"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.godandculture.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/557","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.godandculture.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.godandculture.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.godandculture.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.godandculture.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=557"}],"version-history":[{"count":18,"href":"https:\/\/www.godandculture.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/557\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1851,"href":"https:\/\/www.godandculture.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/557\/revisions\/1851"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.godandculture.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1804"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.godandculture.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=557"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.godandculture.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=557"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.godandculture.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=557"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}