Ruth was a prostitute who worked the dirty streets every night to make ends meet at home. She saw the billboards proclaiming the true happiness found in Jesus. “Jesus Loves YOU.” “Jesus Saves.” But the hostility she found waiting for her in that auditorium was enough to make her want to burst.

Peter was a gambler who blew it and lost everything he owned. He had heard the stories of the man who had died to take the punishment (or something) of his sin (was that the word?). He could feel the eyes like daggers focused on him past every church he walked by, and he couldn’t believe in that kind of love.

Timothy was an alcoholic who killed his girlfriend (in their shared apartment, nonetheless) in a drunken rage. Sentenced to a life of solitude and repetition, he wanted something to believe in to save him from himself. The shouts and condemnation he found waiting for him outside of the courtroom discouraged him from finding such a savior.

Sometimes it suffocates me: The need to stone the liberal, burn the liar, torture the adulterer. There is no plank in my eye. There is nothing wrong with me. I am God’s most perfect creation.

Sometimes the injustice is so strong I want to lie down and not wake up. I can’t find the cure. Where’s the cure? I believe that God is love. I believe that God is gospel. If I look on Ruth, Peter, and Timothy with disgust and disdain, then so is my relationship with God. “I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.”

I can’t find the cure.

*                                                                             *                                                                            *

All things of grace and beauty travel down the same road to solitude. Some may find it, some don’t. A bluebird whistles in the summer breeze. A flower is handed to me by a beautiful girl. Is there grace? A man sings by himself on the road to somewhere or nowhere. It doesn’t matter which. It’s all the same to him.

Tell me a story of beauty

A story of love and rhyme

Grab hold my hand and show me

How to love in good time

A paradox. A matrix. An axiom. These are not found under heaven’s gaze. There are not found in God’s eye. Things are not good on the west side of town. Things are not good in my heart. Open your eyes. Drop the bomb. LOVE is just a four letter word. It does nothing on its own. Act. Breathe. Care. You know what to do. Question: If the heart is empty, what of your mind? Empty is never full. Why are we full of empty? Broken word, mind, heart, feet, sleep, hate, love, soul. Tears on the inside. Tears on the outside. Broken bottles, scratched soles. Play the music. Enlighten your mind. May you find what you seek, sir.

“God has eyes to see?”

“Yes, sir.”

Sad man shot. Hopeless home broken. Is there grace? Solitude can only be achieved by action. Actions beyond your measurements. Beauty is achieved through creation. Deepest mystery. Hopeless history. Languages swarm through minds of darkness and light the rays of sunlight through the window to grace upon your cheek. The never of good will never be while the never evil we’ll someday see. Speak to me in a language only God knows. Whisper in my ear like a long lost lover to his always future bride. Open your ears. A thing of beauty in my eyes. Hold me close! An ugliness penetrates everything around me. Soon you will see. Something will come. Someone. So travel down this trail. Find yourself in the river. Lose yourself in the light. We’re almost there. Don’t leave yet. You will love. You will see. Hope.

“God has heart to love?”

“Yes, son.”

Yes.

*                                                                             *                                                                            *

Since the year is halfway over, and since people are impatient and like to make lists, I present the best songs and albums of the year so far. You can probably find everything on iTunes, if you want to check it out.

Best songs of 2009 (so far):

Alela Diane – Lady Divine

Andrew Bird – Anonanimal

Animal Collective – Bluish

Bob Dylan – I Feel A Change Comin’ On

Elvis Perkins In Dearland – Doomsday

Fiction Family – Look For Me Baby

Jars of Clay – Scenic Route

Manchester Orchestra – Shake It Out

Passion Pit – Sleepyhead

U2 – Cedars Of Lebanon

Wilco – Bull Black Nova

A few great albums released so far:

Wilco – Wilco (The Album)

Wilco, in my opinion, is the greatest band in the world. And this album is no disappointment. It’s fast, concise, and one of the most pure and beautiful albums this band has recorded.

U2 – No Line On The Horizon

They’ve still got it.

Elvis Perkins In Dearland – Elvis Perkins In Dearland

There’s an abundant of riches in this album. Elvis Perkins is a fantastic singer/songwriter and the whole album is exciting and fun.

Jars of Clay is a band that refuses to be pigeonholed into a specific sound or genre. They’ve made ten albums in their time as a band, and not a single one of them sounds alike. But never have they released an album that shows off their musical influences so much as The Long Fall Back To Earth. Traces of 80’s synth bands such as The Cure or INXS and even groups as recent as The Killers can be found everywhere throughout the album.

Upon first listen, the album doesn’t offer anything truly exciting for the listener, except for the euphoric instrumental intro “The Long Fall” which bleeds immediately into “Weapons,” and the glorious rush of “Hero.” But upon further listens the songs reveal their individual charms. There’s nothing on this album that’s as passionate as Good Monsters, as wickedly funny as If I Left the Zoo and as deeply moving as Much Afraid.

The album goes beyond normal Christian music “Jesus is my boyfriend” clichés and instead delves deeper into human relationships that any CCM band in recent memory. Tracks like “Closer” and “Don’t Stop” make this hugely apparent. Indeed, the title for the album comes from a line in the song “Safe To Land” (which first appeared on the Closer EP in 2008), which describes a broken relationship and offers the image of a plane waiting to land as a metaphor for grace. It’s a moment of breathtaking and heartbreaking beauty that shows why Jars of Clay is leaps and bounds better than any other CCM band making music today.

Elsewhere on the album, the band explores ideas of finding solace in music (“Headphones”), defense of their right to experiment (“Scenic Route,” the best track on the album), and add a little mentorship in the form of “Boys (Lesson One)”. All in all, the album is less cohesive than any of their other albums. A lot of the time it sounds like the band is playing it too safe, like on “There Might Be A Light” and “Forgive Me,” while at other times they’re taking full advantage of their creativity (“Scenic Route,” “Heart”). It’s useless to say that this album is a new step for Jars of Clay, because every album is a new step for Jars of Clay. And even if this is an average Jars of Clay album, an average Jars of Clay album is better than most other bands best albums.

It’s only March, but I think you will be hard pressed to find a finer album this year than U2’s new one. I might write a review down the line (ha! Pun), but for now: just buy the thing! It’s the best thing they’ve released since ’91.

Animal Collective is a band that has always failed to excite me, and I was ready to dismiss their new album Merriweather Post Pavilion as another excuse for indie hipsters to freak out over nothing. That feeling only increased when indie music websites Pitchfork and Stereogum hailed this album the best of 2009… five days into January.

But then I listened to the thing. And I was pleasantly surprised that it’s actually quite addicting. This is Animal Collective more accesible than they’ve ever been, and it’s not uncommon for you to find yourself dancing throughout the whole album. I doubt it’ll be my favorite album of the year, but it’s a solid A- album in my view.

Here’s the music video for “My Girls”, one of the standout tracks on Merriweather Post Pavilion:

watch?v=zol2MJf6XNE